Free History Essays

College Humor - Free History Essays
Free History Essays

Joke 1

Hello Mudda, Hello Fodda.

Dear Dad,
$¢hoo£ i$ rea££¥ great. I am making £ot$ of friend$ and $tud¥ing ver¥ hard. With a££ m¥ $tuff, I $imp£¥ ¢an't think of an¥thing I need, $o if ¥ou wou£d £ike, ¥ou ¢an ju$t $end me a ¢ard, a$ I wou£d £ove to hear from ¥ou.

£ove,
¥our $on

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Joke 2

Dear Son,
I know that astronomy, economics, and oceanography are enough to keep even an honor student busy. Do not forget that the pursuit of knowledge is a noble task, and you can never study enough.

Love,
Dad

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Joke 3

Prove: Stupid People Make More Money.

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now we have a mathematical proof that explains why this is true:


Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows,

Work

Time = Power

Since knowledge is power, and time is money, we have:

Work

Money = Knowledge

Solving for Money, we get:

Work

Knowledge = Money

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the amount of Work done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make.

Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard's math program was because he stumbled upon this proof as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of his career to the pursuit of ignorance.

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Joke 4

Fine Dorms

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?

 

 

 

Free History Essays
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